20 December 2009

Dream



Wide dark room. Seated woman talks to us for 1/2 hour in turn about our writing. I talk with another woman. Make to interrupt, then check myself. 2nd woman tells me there's a place I can go, up street. He's alright, I'm told. Walk bickering with Jon, go our separate ways, within view of big store. Inside house, white walls, dressing-gowned shrunk man. He goes upstairs, I run down. Slip door closed behind me using lintel sill, as dog nears. Turn and find another door. No handle. I am trapped.
Old Weaker Poems


Election Day


The children are home
after swimming, the park;

and don't tell little Frankie
but the wolf

in her clock of animal calls
stuck its head through the glass

when a fox appeared
and howled, just to warn her.


Thai


The first time a bowl of green curry
and jasmine rice was placed before me
was like the first time a masseuse

worked my back with a bar:
one side smooth, a mint chocolate cream,
the other grooved like a mat of beads.

Tears, if not quite of joy, came to my eyes.


Everything is an Engine


The night-nurse is an engine
to deflect the insomniac recuperant
seeking access to the TV room at two a.m.

The extractor fan is an engine
pumping out the cold and keeping
warmth awake in the yellow ward.

The tap is an engine, dripping repetitively
onto the rim of the plug,
fascinating the narcotic gaze.

The arrival of the day-nurses is an engine.
Lights flicker on. Refusing breakfast
threatens detention until dinner-time.

Repeatedly, options are reduced to one.
Sure as a tiller steering a boat - its wooden fin -
it is an engine.


Bed


The yellow nightdress,
false-pocketed, thin as a moth's wings,
went up about her.
Found, she was the brilliant wire
within the bulb, unreachable.

In bed, she was
fascinated by the flame - the principle
which she could not crack,
that drew
her attention the way waves did.


Games


I can't concentrate on long things, but Lego,
my mum says I would sit for hours.

And Warhammer - little goblins
from a lead model shop.

I got that patience froom video games -
Snez, PSP, N64.

In one, you can call in helicopter strikes.
I used to baby-sit a kid who had it.

And this rip-off of FIFA -
Beckham was B. Eckham and Giggs was Greggs.

I used to play for absolutely hours.

But then there was a game
based on rain.
You could place mountains and mine valleys
to create lakes. it sounds like
the lamest game ever

but it was like being hypnotised.


Tally


Samm's a bad communicator.
Sooner go hungry
than venture into a busy kitchen.

Weekends, he attends concerts
incognito, cycles everywhere
in a local ice-hockey cap.

On the net, he slips amid a string
of zeroes - a clung blanket
bringing him closer to naught.


Portrait


Endearing how Anna yawns,
mid-conversation, mid-meal even.

She doesn't attempt to stifle it,
merely says 'I always yawn.'

She keeps a good kitchen, tells me,
'You always arrive when I am baking!'

Knows her way around a cocktail menu.
That Canadian ease with silence.
How a Laugh Came Easy These Days – Weaker Poems


Weekend



And so we rake over my past
and I take the wheel for the first time
and I push you from my knee
and I slip it into second
and your colouring suits a tan
and two motorcyclists approach
and they’ve modernized the building
and the car’s low so go around that bump
and the sculptor can’t breathe deeply because her lungs are scarred
and your hand should be relaxed on the gearstick, more relaxed
and there are alpacas in that field because an alpaca breeder lives there
and a new clutch will cost you eight hundred pounds
and that was the cough of a fox not the snort of a horse
and it’s power steering so you needn’t turn it much
and Jess makes that noise when she’s happy – deer and rabbit heaven –
and it’s all about the balance between clutch and accelerator
and for Jess it’s sight and for Pepper smell
and always put on the handbrake before you leave a car.





She’s just returned from an appraisal,
and I’m arguing about photocopying
before the lessons.

Where am I? Where am I?
I pleaded last night in bed.

The light seeps into my eyes.
I’m sniffing
on a picnic bench.

Treat two Russians to a lesson outdoors.





Light coiled in my bones,
eyes too close and twitching.

I find footholes in the gravel
and walk down a chord progression
as teachers arrive, and windows are opened.
A student walks, head down, to the bench.
8.30am. The hottest part of the day.
I am myself this early.





I heard the wedding dress was too tight.
It was difficult to move in, and she was an hour
late. The forecast had been for heavy showers
but it had turned out nice.

That the banns weren’t read in my vicinity
and so the marriage didn’t stand.

That she was yelling into the darkness
just for someone to say hello.






Since the revelation of their name,
copper beech
like insignia
sit alongside each other like stamps
(regular
asymmetrical.)
They seem everywhere.
The background has stepped forward

By naming, I encounter more,
this naming things and taking hold.





Posture



How should I sit in bed,
or at a desk, to read and write?
How write in my lap?

How rest my head on a pillow?
Which pillow to buy?

I mime typing in the middle of the room –
hands low,
monitor exactly central.

Eyes level with the top third of the screen,
the focal length my own,
a pull-out keyboard drawer.

The mouse is level with the keyboard,
the mouse-mat to my left.

I ease back in my chair,
don’t feel a strain.


-

I Lie Priapic



and ponder your disappointment
that the hatch to the loft
didn’t give on to Australia.

Yesterday, you tried the handles
and had to be restrained
in a moving car.

The music from
a pole-dancing class
climbs the fire escape.


-

Five-bar Gate



For two kilometres, wool bleaches on the wire.

This father out taking the air
has the same knowledge,
that five-bar gate, in his face.
His daughter, in the perfect hue of blue jean,
stretches her perfect frame.

In The Angel, I see her spitting shot from her mouth.



The Chalk Bridleway




Milky white
chipped with
hoof prints,
rounded and uneven stone

one degree from clay.

The train compartment cools
as it punctures the night.



What I’d made of it



The people whose laughs I coaxed,
hair falling about their necks.

How to look at them
when they were distracted, their eyes
on the road, or hands around a coffee flask,
to watch the lines curve
round their nostrils and from their eyes.

How to talk to them while
playing a hand up the back of their necks

so they didn't notice
but their words assumed the rhythm of the caress.

How a laugh came easy these days.

How there are still some people I can’t show.

How I still need to let go.



Between Stations

A young woman stands
at the doors between moving carriages,
her feet above the track.
Her carriage dances away from ours
equidistant but shifting.
Her song reaches us,
but her lungs hardly have the energy to expel it.
We just hear the hum
and see her eyes
massaged in their cups.

'Close the door love, it's cold.'

Each time the door swings closed
she stops, considers and pushes it open again,
her balance an exhausted certainty.
She plays it, to-froing the wood on its hinges,
its weight, her counterweight.
Each time she uses a muscle
her blood quickens
and she glows in her temples.

As she presents her unguarded body
in the doorway
there's nothing to prevent looking at her:
her eyes' soft inroads;
her disregard should she fall from view
between two carriages'static arms.

16 December 2009

The Moon and Sixpence

Caiparinha - Camilla and Evas' cocktails

English keyboard

manual on other side - hits hand

'trainee' t-shirt

-

I lost my long-term but not short-term memory

My memory is damaged - that's why I carry this
I can remember where In went on holiday in 1980, but two hours after I've eaten I can't remember what I had
So you end up eating two meals then?

It's good they didn't get used to having the two of us around.
Aren't they great at that age? You don't want them to grow up.

-

Dream

Fall gig.
Pixies support.
In building, crammed corridors. School halls, people can't see other(?) 'This is a fire hazard,' s/o says.
Rooms. Black Francis comes out w. guitar. Steve too close, pushed back.
Then white smoke billows from vent, fills room.

I'm teaching art, frustrated by student.
Flick through bk, Horses in woods.
After student cancels, I lk through book on equerry. Wonderful paintings of curves and parabolas suggesting horses

Cam, has woken, gone out.
I listen to The Band's second album on LP. Push wide thin button, orange lamps light. 'Fuckin'' is sung, a woman backing vocalist,
'Feelin' bout half past dead' is repeated.